Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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