I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
my being single is dangerous.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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