Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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