She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
