you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.