Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.