The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She bit a glass in half.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".