Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
