i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You made out with two different species that night
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
