Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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