We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
