My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
