Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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