Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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