honey bunches of taint.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
They are going to name an STD after you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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