There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
