I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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