the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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