Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
