I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
