Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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