Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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