I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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