Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.

Fav 14 742 4155
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.

Fav 60 8704 2060
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.

Fav 31 7082 1571
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!

Fav 20 2412 1598
share tweet
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(913): View more from Kansas

My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.

Fav 8 2220 1065
share tweet
(909): View more from California

The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.

Fav 12 2448 1233
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.

Fav 7 1277 962
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER

Fav 2 1214 475
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.

Fav 2 113 321
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT