Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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