Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy

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  (925): im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy http://tfl.nu/0d9q
  Replies (19) Good night (2704) Bad night (697)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!

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  (850): i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her! http://tfl.nu/mu36
  Replies (12) Good night (484) Bad night (3171)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.

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  (314): I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light. http://tfl.nu/psre
  Replies (19) Good night (3787) Bad night (934)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of

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  (248): He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of http://tfl.nu/1krw
  Replies (10) Good night (3600) Bad night (916)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.

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  (609): We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar. http://tfl.nu/d2sa
  Replies (5) Good night (3035) Bad night (730)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?

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  (419): He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that? http://tfl.nu/13e2
  Replies (11) Good night (526) Bad night (1174)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you

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  (602): All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you http://tfl.nu/oj33
  Replies (7) Good night (1818) Bad night (474)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey

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  (774): This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey http://tfl.nu/q901
  Replies (10) Good night (1721) Bad night (616)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.

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  (479): I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again. http://tfl.nu/tpxn
  Replies (3) Good night (704) Bad night (515)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.

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  (816): I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome. http://tfl.nu/4io1
  Replies (3) Good night (917) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..

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  (215): i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out (1-215): you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night.. http://tfl.nu/3w68
  Replies (4) Good night (302) Bad night (944)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.

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  (305): We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened. http://tfl.nu/a50c
  Replies (3) Good night (648) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.

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  (412): My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler. http://tfl.nu/7ja0
  Replies (14) Good night (792) Bad night (302)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  it is shots o' clock and I am never late

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  (713): it is shots o' clock and I am never late http://tfl.nu/psyc
  Replies (4) Good night (745) Bad night (234)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss

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  (316): I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss http://tfl.nu/1mn2
  Replies (3) Good night (229) Bad night (475)

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