Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is

(1-334): View more from Alabama

I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P

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(334): I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is (1-334): I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P http://tfl.nu/fyjw

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(956): View more from Texas

What do you think she thinks of us?

(1-956): View more from Texas

I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us

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(956): What do you think she thinks of us? (1-956): I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us http://tfl.nu/ul14

Replies (8) Good night (2410) Bad night (672)
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(949): View more from California

After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(

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(949): After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =( http://tfl.nu/pv1c

Replies (43) Good night (759) Bad night (5458)
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(209): View more from California

update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.

(1-209): View more from California

the house was on fire??

(209): View more from California

shit I thought I told you.

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(209): update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff. (1-209): the house was on fire?? (209): shit I thought I told you. http://tfl.nu/gdcx

Replies (16) Good night (1366) Bad night (5282)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice

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(540): Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice http://tfl.nu/euqp

Replies (5) Good night (1031) Bad night (3135)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.

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(401): apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat. http://tfl.nu/jsnf

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(203): View more from Connecticut

it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore

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(203): it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore http://tfl.nu/bfwd

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(419): View more from Ohio

Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...

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(419): Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this... http://tfl.nu/jh8c

Replies (19) Good night (2022) Bad night (3121)
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(406): View more from Montana

Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him

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(406): Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him http://tfl.nu/av2i

Replies (2) Good night (1677) Bad night (627)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."

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(215): What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller." http://tfl.nu/x4em

Replies (21) Good night (3014) Bad night (1016)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!

(910): View more from North Carolina

I THINK I SHARTED

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(910): HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!! (910): I THINK I SHARTED http://tfl.nu/jtux

Replies (9) Good night (745) Bad night (1468)
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(734): View more from Michigan

She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.

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(734): She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night. http://tfl.nu/qun7

Replies (5) Good night (1011) Bad night (687)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!

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(336): dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems! http://tfl.nu/qsei

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(970): View more from Colorado

In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.

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(970): In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma. http://tfl.nu/78q2

Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (461)
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(678): View more from Georgia

WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!

(404): View more from Georgia

The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night

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(678): WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!! (404): The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night http://tfl.nu/ci7v

Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (124)

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