He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
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I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
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Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.