i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
