why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
