just come out here and I will go home with you...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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