I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
do herpes really smell.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
