I want to make a zoo with you.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
