I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
