I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
