There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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