I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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