She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am available for nakedness
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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