my vag is so smooth its legendary
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
