billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
