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Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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