none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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