You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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