The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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