I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
