If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
