hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
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She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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