he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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