Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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