everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
