Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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