Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
