Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We have started to decorate penises.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
