i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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