it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
