Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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