This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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