if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
