Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
