I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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