It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
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I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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