They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
