soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
