Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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